Cops, Chicks, and Streaking Naked
by WhatTheFreak
Summary: “Chicks will totally dig us after this, guys will totally think were amazing and brave, and-“Natsume cuts Mochu off and says “And cops will totally be all over us too”imitating him.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gakuen Alice or the characters present in my story.

Hello Fanfic Readers.... I present my third story.

This came to mind while I was writing my previous story.

Reviews are highly appreciated.

Criticism is too.

Note: I changed a few things. Nothing big. Grammar, spelling mistakes, punction marks, the usual.

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_Where does stupidity go when the people die and leave it behind? _

_Does it simply die out or do they find someone to make even more stupid?_

Certainly losers.

Yes. My friends were certainly losers.

In front of the village gates were the three idiots Koko, Kitsuneme, and Mochu. Standing with a robe that wrapped their body like a second skin.

Oh, did I mention that under that robe they were totally butt naked too?

What did they plan to do you ask? I myself don't know why or did not want to be correct with my suspicion.

Those idiots plan on running totally ass naked around the whole village of the rich, famous, and _possibly armed_ people, they told me themselves, right now.

I pray they don't die, or at least if they get shot it won't be a vital part.

"Come on you guys! We'll be wearing a mask. No one would know it's us." Koko said as a-matter-of-factly.

"Right….The greatest way to cover yourself up and not let _everything _hang out would be to cover your face." Ruka said sarcastically.

"We'll get a load when we see the look of horror on the chicks faces when they see us running, or possibly skipping, right in front of them." Mochu said with a pleased look on his face.

"As much as this seems like a riot, I'm gonna bail. I do _not_ want to go to jail, let alone die." Natsume said.

"Guys you shouldn't do this. Imagine the news headline if you get caught. Shame and humiliation is written all over this. "Yuu said warily.

"'Boys Streak Naked to Earn Attention from the Rich' wouldn't that be an eye-catching headline." Ruka told them sardonically.

Mochu laughed and said "I was kind of going for 'Arrested! Caught Skipping Joyfully While Everything is Bare' you know, to sound more interesting."

"It would be better if the headline goes 'Hot Bods, Hot Studs, and Local Buds Playing in Wet Mud' because it rhymes and it sounds cool." Koko said all hyped up.

"You guys still need to find a way to get in, because I'm certain none of you will be able to climb this." Yuu said looking up and down the gate.

"I was hoping that you guys could lift us up over the gate since you aren't going to participate in this kick-ass prank." Kitsuneme said hopefully while he bats his little eyelashes and pouts his lips.

Natsume scoffs and says "Never works with a girl and it will never work with you. Besides we wouldn't be able to lift you guys over this thing even if we were wearing 7 inch heels. It's still too high."

"And you guys aren't wearing _anything,_ nothing at all, underneath your robes and we have to look up to what? See your bare asses right in front our faces. Not a pretty sight." Ruka told them.

"Then why don't you just join us and we'll find a way to get in. You guys promised, during Freshman Year, that we would streak across the lawns of the rich before graduation." Mochu said practically pleading.

Kitsuneme looks at them and pouts his lips saying "Pretty please, pretty please, pretty please with a thousand cherries on top?" with those big hand motions.

"Hell no." said the crimson eyed boy.

"Nope." says the bunny lover.

"I'm sorry but no way." says the high school genius.

"Fine, you leave me no choice. Remember those pictures we took when we were on that beach where no one was around to see us." Koko says animatedly.

Ruka shifts to his other leg in discomfort and fear of what Koko may be talking about.

"Yeah. What about it?" questions the trembling Yuu.

"Oh! No biggie. I just kind of got them developed and put into an album and hid it where no one would even think of finding it." says Koko maliciously, "Oh and let me remind you that I don't care about what the others say about my pictures,"

Silence protrudes all the mouth gaping boys.

x-x-x

"I cannot believe we're doing this." Ruka says in disbelief.

"I'd rather have those pictures sent to every single person on earth than streak with everything out in the open for everyone to see. " says the frustrated Natsume.

"Soooooo, you wouldn't mind people looking at you and saying 'OMG! That's the guy who was wearing sea shells for bras. Let's find sea shells and take pictures with him!' Mochu said pointedly while pretending to be an annoying girl.

"Hn." is all Natsume could say.

"Hn-ing? Don't your ever get tired of just saying that?" asked Kitsuneme.

"Hn." is what the boy answered.

"Never mind." replied Kitsuneme.

"Okay! So we are really doing this. AWESOME!" shouts Koko.

"Chicks will totally dig us after this, guys will think were amazing and brave, and--"Natsume cuts Mochu off and says "and cops will_ totally_ be all over us too." imitating him.

"Let's just find a way to get in, get out, and get this over with." says Ruka impatiently.

"Okay! The person who guards this place is a chick, from where I can see, and she also is practically ancient…. We can take advantage of her partial deafness and partial blindness" Koko says while looking at that small booth next to the gate that may be their only source of entrance.

"Taking advantage of an old lady… How charming Koko." Ruka says sarcastically speaking.

"Thank you." replied the charming lad as Ruka scoffs.

"Natsume we would like it if you would do this one thing for us. Charm the lady and find a way to get us in." explains Kitsuneme while doing his 'please, please, please do it for me' face.

"How the hell am I going to do that?!" exclaims Natsume.

Kitsuneme puts on his thinking face, hand on chin and head looking up into the sky, and says "Figure it out lover boy."

Natsume just clenches his fists and starts to walk toward the small booth that housed the old lady and the key to opening the gate. Why would they let a small old lady take guard of a place like this, he thought, I feel bad for those who live here…. Such a _rip-off. _

When he reached the old lady he saw that she wasn't wearing her glasses and that it was at the edge of her desk so he thought, why don't I just grab that, and then he spoke, saying "Excuse me, but would you kindly open the gate for me please." he said with his fake French accent that he kind of got hooked on because of Ruka.

The lady tried to look for her glasses but couldn't find it so she just stared at the young boy partially blind.

"I have a meeting with the--," he saw a banana tree "Ban--," then he saw the apple that was on the old ladies desk "Applè."

"Yes. I have a meeting with the _Ban Applè_ Family and I am actually very late. So if you could please open this god forsaken gate…." he said.

The old woman just nodded her head and said "Yes sir but could you"*cough*"please tell me your name"

"Uhhhhhh…. My name is Sir Abercrombie Fitch and I have a meeting with the _Ban Applè _Family." he says unsure of whether or not she would recognize him as a fraud.

"Certainly Sir Fitch. Let me just look in my book," she raises up a black book with the words Village de Alice written on it "and make a call to confirm your visit." she states.

"Excuse me but can you not see that I am already late. You would not want your employer to find out that you have lost millions for the _Ban Applè _Family. Would you?" he fumed.

The old lady looks at him with big large eyes and is startled by his threatening voice.

This isn't my idea. If someone asks why you had a heart attack I would truthfully tell them that it was Koko's fault, he tells himself.

The lady then nods her head and presses a button. Natsume then walks away after saying his thanks and goes back to his ecstatic friends, apart from Yuu and Ruka.

"Hell yes!" shouts Koko as he tries to run inside but is stopped by Natsume who looks fit to kill.

"If we get caught, one of you will take the blame and 3 of us," he pointed to himself, Ruka, and Yuu "will not, at any circumstances, be brought in with you. Capichè?"

Koko shrugs his shoulders and says "I dunno"

"Capichè?" he repeats.

"Maybe, I dunno. This was supposed to be about bonding so if we get caught that would be bonding time in jail." He tells the others.

"Oh! And Natsume, if life gives you lemons-"

"Koko, when exactly in life does a lemon _magically_ pop out of nowhere?" Natsume interjects.

"I was metamorphically speaking." he answers.

"You mean metaphorically speaking?" Yuu corrects.

"Repeat after me. I. Do. Not. Give. A. Damn." he points out.

"Let's just get this over with." Ruka says impatiently again.

"Ok everybody, robes off, ready your pace, and run like the wind" Mochu says with pleasure written all over his face.

And then the three idiots were off, running everywhere in the nude. Ruka was the first to take off his clothes in attempt to get this damn thing over with, as he says, and ran like a madman.

Soon, Yuu got impatient, took of his clothes and went straight too a nearby bush. He then went bush by bush so that no one would be able to see him, not that there was anybody there.

To be precise, the whole village was empty. Nobody was there to see those boys running naked and making a fool of themselves. It looked so deserted and so empty that running around in the nude would be like being in front of your own mirror. Naked.

Nobody would see them.

And that's when Natsume took of his clothes and started running to catch up with his friends.

Then one house caught Natsume's eye and he called up all his friends to check it out too.

"WOAH! Huge house alert." says Kitsuneme.

"I am Kokoro Yome reporting live in front of a gorgeous house in Village de Alice. As you can see I am in the nude and my best friend here is infatuated with a house."

"Let me ask you. Do you even know what 'infatuated' means?" asks Natsume.

"Yeah. It's the past tense of infatuate. Duh!" he replies.

"You're so stupid."

"Ohhhhh Natsume you meanie bo beanie slow veanie."

"Exactly why you shouldn't be watching TV with your little cousins. The influence of those shows are _menacing_." Mochu exclaims as he preteneds to shiver.

"So what exactly is up with this house, besides the fact that its h-uuuuuge?" questions Kitsuneme.

"Hot chicks probably live here. Let's check out the back, if no ones here we might be able to swim. That is if they have a pool." says Koko.

Everyone shrugs their shoulders and follows Koko as he leads them to the back. They stop after they see the scene right in front of them.

The scene of men, women, and children.

Looking like they wanted to kill.

Looking disgusted and angry.

_Holy Crap, _thought Yuu

And then they were off.

Running like the wind. They hoped no one would call the police on them. Maybe that's why the whole place felt deserted. Everyone was at a party in that mansion sipping their wine, eating their shrimp, talking like they owned the world, and practically showing off their wealth to others and trying to prove that they were the best.

Oh my god, I _cannot_ believe this is happening, thought the flabbergasted Ruka.

Suddenly they heard the sound of sirens.

This couldn't get any worse can it, Natsume said to himself.

And as they were trying to dodge all the people that were trying to catch them, the police cars were suddenly in full view and their only choice of escape was to either run in zigzag form or run and try and fight their way to get to the gate.

Damn it! This wouldn't have happened if the lady guard was a man guard and would probably see through my pretty obvious disguise, Natsume thought.

They were able to make it all the way though the gate and were still in the nude.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! _OH MY GOD_!" Mochu said like a little girl who saw her favorite star but a bit more like a girl who saw her best friend kissing her boyfriend.

"SHUT UP! WHAT!?" shouted Ruka angrily as he bends down and puts his hands on his thighs from all the running.

"Our clothes. Gone. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Away. MISSING!" Mochu shouted.

Eveyone looked around and started to freak out, including Natsume. I mean who wouldn't be freaking out if you were completely ass naked on the streets and the police were coming after you.

Suddenly a black Hummer stops right beside them and five beautiful girls are seen through the clear windows.

Suddenly one of those windows open, the window closest to the boys, and the driver, with the auburn hair and those innocent hazel eyes, says "Get in the back." with the flick of her head.

Without any hesitation, the boys rush to the back of the car and Natsume opens the back door. Suddenly they see that all their clothes right there in the front of them.

"What exactly are our clothes doing here?" questions Ruka.

"Be glad we even thought of giving it back to you guys. You might have been arrested for trespassing or you might have been shot you know that? Not that we actually give a crap." said the one with those tantalizing violet eyes.

Silence was the answer to her question.

The boys didn't dare think about saying anything to anger the young women so the whole car was quiet through-out their journey to god knows where.

That is until Koko spoke

"Sooooo….. Where exactly are we heading to?"

"None of your naked business." one of the girls said, specifically the one with the blue hair.

"Okay, you can let us out here." he says.

Then the car comes to a halt and the auburn haired girl turns around and looks at each boy.

"You guys owe us big time for saving your naked asses out there." she tells them and looks eye-to-eye at all the boys.

All the boys look at her wide eyed, except for Natsume, and the girls are certain that they heard a huge gulp come from their throats.

"I think that this is the start of a not-so-equal friendship." says the girl with those hazel eyes.

"My name is Mikan Sakura and my daddy owns that house that held that party that you guys crashed." she laughs "That was a riot"

The car starts and moves until a cough from one of the girls was heard.

"Oh! And these are my best friends Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko, and Sumire, but we actually call her Permy." she continued. One of the boys started laughing.

"Shut up or I'll report you to the police and post pictures of your nakedness," she threatened "and I mean only you." as she points a Koko.

"So can we be friends?" Mikan asks them.

"Is that the only condition we need to follow to keep your yap shut?" asks Mochu.

"Pretty much." she answers.

"Fine. Just don't tell us to humiliate ourselves anymore. As you can see we already made a good job of that." says Kitsuneme.

The girls all laugh and Anna says "I think we can see that, but we _will_ hold this against you for as long as we are friends."

"Understandable." Yuu says.

Suddenly Koko yells "STOP THE CAR!" and the car comes to a stop.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!" shouts Sumire.

"I need to take a long leak near that bush. I'll be right back" he answers.

"That's sick man."

"Too much information."

"Isn't that Poison Ivy, Hotaru?"

"Yep"

"Why didn't you tell him that?"

"Didn't want to."

"Wooh! That's gonna hurt."

"I feel so bad for him."

Natsume scoffs and says "I love karma."

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Reviewing doesn't hurt, so darlings please kindly press this button down there.

It would make mama proud and very happy.

I changed a few things. Nothing big. Grammar, spelling mistakes, punction marks, the usual.


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